As a young adult, I once opened a fortune cookie telling me "There will never be enough time to finish everything on the list".
I took it as a dare to prove Confucious wrong and set about making lists entitled "Things To Do Before You Die" with a well held belief and dogged determination that I would tick. Every. Last. Thing. Off. That. List.
At first these lists were filled with grand, adventurous plans; hang glide, abseil, become a lawyer, buy a car...
Then as real life took over the bucket list became more of a glorified to do list; buy the kids new shoes, buy a new sofa, read War and Peace (kidding I've never wanted to read War and Peace), get a dog, have another baby, buy a house...
Life has a funny way of changing what's important and now when I meet people older and wiser than me and hear them say "I can't die yet, I have too many things on my list; write my memoir, finish restoring my car, collate my family history, help my kids buy a house each".
I realise that fortune cookie Confucious was right. There will always be a list. And that's ok.
10 Things To Do Before You Die
There are things that have every business to still be hanging around on your Things To Do Before You Die list after you've died.
If you don't go hang gliding or hiking in Tibet. You haven't done a safari in Africa or built a mud-brick yurt in the bush it's probably not going to upset the applecart of anyone else's life too much.
But there are some important things that I've noticed seem to keep hanging around on people's to do list tempting fate and threatinging to be there until the end of days, that actually do impact the people you leave behind and the way your estate is managed.
I like to call them no-negotiable pre-death activities.
✔️ Up date estate plan
Having a will isn't enough, your will needs to be valid AND reflect what you want to happen if you were to die this year (not ten years ago or in twenty years time when you plan to die). If life has changed since the last will you wrote it's time to do an update (read more HERE about when and why to update your will).
✔️ Write an Advance Care Directive
Sometimes before we die we get ill or become incapacitated. To ensure the people making decisions about your health care, finances, and future are the people you actually want to make those decisions it's important to write an Advance Care Directive and nominate substitute decision makers while you have capacity (read more HERE about Advance Care Directives and how they're used).
✔️ Sign documents
Sounds like a no-brainer right? You've gone to all the trouble of finding the lawyer, asking people to be on your death team, recording your wishes - and then you stop at the last hurdle. If you want the information in your will or other documents to be put to good use but their sitting on your kitchen bench waiting for you to get around to signing. Today is the day. Get signing (and returning).
✔️ Get divorced
If you're happily married (or single) I'm not suggesting you head to the divorce courts for shits and giggles. If however, you've been happily (or unhappily) separated for any amount of time and have no intention of getting back together go and get a divorce already. Legally disentangling yourself from your ex will make finalising your estate infinitely easier for everyone involved.
✔️ File outstanding tax returns
For most people doing a tax return is like pulling teeth but doing the tax return for a dead person is a whole other ballgame. If you have outstanding tax returns your executor will be tasked with completing them (all of them) on your behalf and the ATO will take any outstanding tax debt from your estate (before any assets are paid to your beneficiaries). Dying with outstanding taxes adds additional stress and can put your beneficiaries at risk of legal action.
✔️ Register a company
For the first few years I was in business every month I would write "register a company" on or near the top of my to do list. It wasn't until I saw the fallout of what happens when a sole trader (who should have been operating in a company structure) dies that I made it happen (and yes it was way easier than I'd been telling myself). If you run a business figure out what life looks like for your clients, suppliers, employees and family if you die and then make sure you have the right business structure in place to make sure nothing dies with you (click HERE to find out more).
✔️ Finish [insert unfinished project here]
If you have a project car up on bricks in the garage, or you're living in a half-finished doer-upper-er chances are high your significant other has been on at you for years to get it done. And for good reason. Whether it's fifteen half-finished knitted toys, the great novel that you gave up on three chapters from the end, the photo albums you always intended to put together than never eventuated = half-finished or half-started projects are a nightmare for your beneficiaries who are often left to agonise over whether they spend time, money and energy trying to complete your projects or scrap them and mourn their loss along with yours.
✔️ Save important information
When you die it's impossible to pick your brains about where the important stuff is; passwords, gold bullion, secret children, bank accounts - whilst you don't have to divulge every intimate detail about your life to your family, collecting up important information and keeping it in one place is about the kindest thing you can do. If there are things you want to keep safe behind top-level digital security consider getting Morty in your corner.
✔️ Resolve conflicts
Unresolved conflicts, estrangements, and past hurts can weigh heavily on people. Repairing relationships with loved ones, expressing forgiveness or seeking forgiveness whilst you're still alive can bring the kind of peace and closure you don't get to experience if you leave it in a death letter or die wishing you'd made ammends.
✔️ Live an imperfect life
In an effort to do more living and less list making I've started embracing "good enough". Good enough photo books, good enough life lessons. Good enough conversations. Good enough holidays. An imperfect life well lived feels like a better deal than a perfect life locked up in a bucket list or experiences.